“The simplistic definition of forgiveness as an end of resentment doesn’t work for Jesus, and it should not necessarily work for us either.” Kaya Oakes

Meditate on a reading that interprets the Lord’s Prayer as teaching us to forgive only after God forgives, and never in a hurry. In Christ’s time, forgiveness was more nuanced, and could mean sending someone away, putting distance between ourselves and someone who’s harmed us, or even deciding never to see that person again.

book cover not so sorry

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About the Author & Text

Not So Sorry: Abusers, False Apologies, and the Limits of Forgiveness (July 2024) is the fifth book by religion journalist & cultural critic Kaya Oakes. Her essays and columns have appeared in many national publications, and her expertise has been consulted by NPR, CBC and many podcasts. She teaches nonfiction writing at the University of California, Berkeley, and lives in Oakland, California, where she was born and raised.

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